short cuts.

the last week in the world of acting has brought little in the way of advancement. i went to the audition for the industrial that would have shot in portland. did not book it. and because i don't have an agent, i won't ever know why not.

the quality of my auditions has improved over the last six months. to illustrate, two of three projects i have auditioned for, my parents recognize: a bob dylan music video, a guest role on californication, and an industrial that would have paid me for travel days. travel days. ahh. now that's the sound of success. haha. i kid. sort of. shooting on location is something i long for. i love los angeles, it is my home. but i also love to travel and see new places and meet people who love those places and eat in the restaurants they love. i'd be lying if i told you it wasn't part of the allure of acting, way back when i decided i would set out to do one of the most difficult things there is to do.

the other audition i booked as i was writing the last post isn't for another week or two. however, i have steadily been watching the films they listed as their stylistic influences and it is definitely helping me to see where they're headed. a film i discovered through this process is 'the saddest music in the world' - which i highly recommend.

i've been struggling lately with the idea of failure. or, perhaps a better way to put it, living with the lack of success. maybe even: finding success in being willing to fail. whatever you want to call it, it isn't always easy. i didn't come to hollywood with stars in my eyes. i came because this is the place where people make art i want to be a part of. so i work at it. and yet, if success is elusive, how long does one continue to work at it?

in a different vein, while at the industrial audition, i had some time to chat with the other brunettes waiting to read for the project. after i expressed my desire to crop my hair short they both admitted that at their agencies the girls who book regularly are the ones with short hair. commercially speaking this is. oh, you mean the type of job that makes living off of acting possible? yes, that is what i mean.

so i am now seriously considering a short cut. for my hair. unless you know of a short cut to success...

[oh and even though no one pointed it out, i am aware of my mary poppins mistake. it was maria from the sound of music whom i disagreed with.]